


S C A N D A L+

by Sailor_Saccharin



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, Be Careful What You Wish For, Black Character(s), Dominance, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Love, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, NCT 2018, NCT U, NSFW, Non-Sexual Submission, Reader-Insert, Romance, Smut, baby don't stop, but only to be rude af, exeds come back, kpop, kpop fanfics, kpop reader inserts, nct - Freeform, nct 127, submissive boys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-05-06 22:50:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14657855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sailor_Saccharin/pseuds/Sailor_Saccharin
Summary: I have no patienceI’m gonna bother you till the day is overCome closer, show me your fantasyI’m gonna slowly show you love, right[Lee Taeyong x Reader}





	1. Chapter 1

            

Nsfw

\---

 

A man is made the same way a diamond is, when a great pressure forces him to change. However, that change doesn't mean that the entire composition has been reformed, it just means the outer shell has hardened to protect the soft material inside. 

Those words were the mantra Lee Taeyong lived by. Everywhere he went he had to hear about how he was a liar, a scammer, a racist, and a sexist. It was as though the things he said in middle school still applied to him as a 22-year-old man. He was just a boy at the time, those things were a figment of his past that he desperately wanted to forget. 

His band members tried to reassure him that idols dealt with scandals all the time but being talked about like trash bothered him. That mantra was the only think that kept him sane, but recently things had become so rocky that he thought he'd have to leave SM all together.

"Hey, you okay?" Your voice was soft when you confronted him. Laced with concern, reassurance, something he hadn't heard in a long time. 

"You should just go away..." He sat on the steps, face in his palms. It had been months since his debut, yet the rumors persisted. Hadn't he proved that he had changed? 

"It's not safe to be out here alone Taeyong. You should go home...Err where do you live?" You knew him from SMrookies, when you were all prepping to debut together. He was such a sweetheart staying after to help you practice dance moves, walking you to your car, carrying your bags, wrapping your ankles when you were hurt. When your group didn't debut —due to internal issues within itself— he was there to wipe away your tears.  Of course, you enjoyed the short time you spent on the show and the friends you gained, but you wished you could have gotten to know Taeyong a little more before leaving SM. 

"I'll walk you to the bus stop." You tell him, grabbing his hand. He pulls away from you, rejecting the softness of your touch.

"The last bus ran already. I'll just walk." He stands up dusting himself off, smoothing back his hair so he can at least look half way decent. However, the redness of his eyes tells you that's he's either been crying or drinking. You hope it's not either but prefer the former to the latter.

"That's a long walk Taeyong. You can spend the night with me if you want. Besides this is a bad part of the city and I don't want you out here by yourself walking. No matter how tough you are, people will still try to harm you." You tell him. He stares at the concrete below him, thinking of an excuse to reject your offer. None come to mind.

"Aren't you concerned I'm gonna scam you or something? Steal your stuff? Hurt your feelings? Ruin your things?" He snarls. He should know you by now though, know that words don't really bother you too much. You view actions. 

"C'mon Taeyong I know you're better than that. "You say through a bitter laugh, it sucks that such a nice boy has to endure such malice because of past decisions. 

"You're right, I'm sorry...I just...I'm sorry. "You step toward him, caressing the sharpness of his jaw. The way he gazes up at you has you stunned momentarily. You always thought he was cute.

"You really think I'd invite you over if I thought badly of you?" You smile at him, poking his stomach. The way you look at him makes him feel something that he hadn't felt from anyone outside his group members in a while: cared for, appreciated, wanted.

 

~

When you arrive at your apartment, Taeyong comments on how clean it looks. His statement puzzles you, until he reminds you that he lives with 17 other males who weren't the cleanest. He spent most of his time babysitting, cleaning, and cooking for them. By the time he's finished, he's exhausted and only has time for a cat nap before dance practice and song rehearsals start.

"Mm makes sense why they call you momma Tae then. Don't worry I'll do all the work tonight, so just relax for once, kay?" You wink at him. He blushes, turning his head sideways to avoid your gaze.

"You really don't have to. We haven't spoken in a long time. It would be rude of me to take advantage of you like this. "He says, watching you wash dishes. He wants to help but when he starts to stand, you glare him back into his seat.

"Don't be dumb, take a good offer when you see it." You warn, pointing a freshly washed spoon at him," Anyways I'm going to fix you a plate okay? So, you can shower or something if you want and I'll wash your clothes for you. I have some of my exes' stuff in that hamper if you want to wear something clean. You should be able to fit them, you both are pretty small."

It's seven pm at night so it isn't too late for him to eat a meal and besides you don't want him to starve himself just because of a stupid scandal. He was already small when you first met him and now he looks even smaller than before, you hope that he isn't starving himself because of these rumors. The last thing he needs is to develop an eating disorder to punish himself for something that happened over ten years ago.

"Thank you." His voice is soft.  You walk around the counter to kiss his cheek softly. He stares at you with big puppy eyes before turning away, face reddened by the sudden display of affection.

"It's really no problem at all. You were always nice to me anyways so I'm just returning the favor." He nods, heading in the direction of the bathroom you pointed to. Meanwhile, you finish preparing him something to eat.

As you prepare his meal, you hear Taeyong rapping in the shower. It makes you smile that he's doing something he loves without the stress of the label or scandal affecting him. 

"Feeling better?" You ask when he returns to the kitchen, passing him the bowl. He nods, sucking down the soup as if it's the last supper.

"I'll take that as a yes then." You tease, taking his empty bowl to drop in the sink. You can wash the bowl tomorrow morning for now you just want to make sure Taeyong is okay. You may not be able to make the rumors go away but at least you could send him back, clean, well fed, and relaxed.

"Thank you." You find him staring at your face once again. His eyes are soft and kind, nothing like this rude, racist, scammer you've heard about, "You really didn't have to do any of this." He whispers.

"It's nothing really. I'm just glad I caught you before someone else did. You're a good boy, don't let anyone tell you different. Plus, I miss hanging out with you." Moving to stand in front of him, you smooth his hair back, and caress his face lovingly. The sensation of your fingers on his skin has him experiencing vertigo. He grabs your wrist gently and pulls you toward him. 

"Taeyong I— "The kiss is quick; his lips pillow soft. You kiss him back just as gently. The feeling in your chest reassuring you that this is something you've wanted for a long time. There's a moment of uncertainty though before he pulls you in again, kissing you with more passion.  You hook an arm around his neck, settling yourself on his lap, letting his tongue run across your bottom lip. Your head is hazy, it's been forever since you been touched like this, let alone by someone so handsome.

When his tongue touches the flesh of your neck, you snap back to reality: "We should stop." You glance away shyly, "I don't want to just be a one-night stand to you..." Taeyong raises an eyebrow before standing up, placing you on your own two feet. You've forgotten how much taller he was than you, how defined his jaw was, how attractive he was.

"You don't have to be if you don't want to be." He whispers pulling you by your waist, "Despite my rep, I'm not one to just throw girls away. I wouldn't do this with someone like you if that was my intent." He tilts your head up, kissing you again. The two of you kiss repeatedly until you have to break away for oxygen. Then you're back it, his tongue running across your bottom lip, hands traveling to your ass to give it a little squeeze.

"Tell me you don't want me, and I'll stop right now, and we can act like this never happened." He searches your face for doubt or hesitation, once he finds none, he kisses your neck again.

"I want you Taeyong...I want this please." Satisfied with the answer, he's quick to scoop you up in his arms and ask where your bedroom is. You direct him through kisses at his throat, his neck, his collarbone anything you can reach. Amid all your teasing, you start to feel his arousal pressing against you. At the rate the two of you are going you'll never make it to the bedroom but somehow Taeyong manages to get you both there.

"God, you're gonna kill me." He nips at your neck tenderly.

"Killing you is definitely the goal." You wink, tilting his head so you can press your lips against his again. 

"–think I wanna die this way then." He smiles softly at you, "What happen to the guy you were with?" his hands move fast to unbutton your blouse and unhook your bra.

"He cheated on me with some idol or something." You confess through moan as Taeyong palms your breast. He's gentle with you, tweaking your nipples between his fingertips, pressing small kisses between the valley of your breast.

"He didn't deserve you." Taeyong mumbles, taking one of your nipples between his lips. When you throw your head back, he rests a hand on your lower back to keep you stable. His tongue swirls around the flesh with the intent of drawing the loudest moans possible from your being.

"T-Taeyong- "you whimper when you feel his hands searching for the button of your shorts. When he finds it, he pulls away to undress you.

"Hmm?" He asks sliding his shirt and pants off. He pulls you to him, connecting his lips to yours again. His tongue dances on your lower lip until you part it, letting him in. The more you kiss him the bolder you get and soon your hand is in his boxers, playing with him, teasing him.  He also wants to touch you, and lets his hand wonder down to your panties rubbing your clit through them.

When you let out a loud whine against his lips, he hooks a finger around your panties, "Can I?" you beg him to throw caution to the wind and have you. He obeys and as soon as your panties are off, his tongue is flat against your heat.

"Oh my god Ty!" you moan letting your hands wonder to his grey strands of hair. His hair is but that doesn't stop you from pulling on it, begging him, pleading for more. His tongue circles your clit while his fingers ghost over your entrance, "Please Ty baby please." You beg. He's quick to answer, shoving a finger into you and then a second, fucking you open, fucking you until he feels your body tightening against him.

"Ah, using my nickname already?" he pulls away, taking the delicious sensation with him to search for his pants. When you whine, he shoves a finger into you, fingering you while digging through his wallet, looking for a condom. When he finds it, he's quick to roll it on.

Grabbing you by your ankle, he pulls you closer. "You just keep condoms on you?" you whimper when he withdraws his finger.

"I'm pretty sure every guy has at least one condom in his wallet. You never know when you'll end up in these kinds of situation." He leans in to kiss you as if to reassure you he wasn't some womanizer just trying to get in your pants. You knew he wasn't, it just surprised that such a sweetheart would have something so lewd on him.

"Make's sense." You caress his cheek. Nuzzling his face into your palm, he kisses your fingertips.

"You sure you wanna go through with this? We can stop right here and act like this never happened." He takes your hand and holds it as he searches your face for any sign of doubt or regret.

"Taeyong please. I need this, I need you." You squeeze his hand reassuringly. He nods, entering you slowly. He feels like nothing you've ever experienced before. His thrust are slow and calculated, drawing gasp and whimpers from your being.

"Feel good?" he teases, pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

"Please Ty I need more, please." You complain, unsatisfied with his slow pace. He grabs your legs holding them against his chest, eager to satisfy you, to please you.

The new angle has you crying to the heavens for mercy. He fucks into you with the repentance of a sinner, begging for your body to wash him clean. "I'm not going to last much longer." He groans through clenched teeth as you claw at his biceps. With every thrust you grip him tighter, not wanting to let him go. His hand travels between your legs, thumbing your clit in an attempt to draw out your orgasm.

"Please don't stop. Ty baby please oh my god." You moan his full name with every powerful thrust he gives you. 

"I'm sorry, I can't...ah fuckkkk" His thrust become harder, sloppier as he fucks you through his orgasm. He takes a moment to pull out of you, discarding the condom in the bin next to your bed, "I'm sorry. You didn't come did you? C'mere sweet thing, let me take care of you."

He pulls you back to him, pressing his tongue flat against your clit. Your body quivers against him and he slides two fingers into you, fucking you in tandem with his mouth. He's merciless, licking in circles, lines, tracing his name into you, anything just to hear you moaning, feel your body tighten against him.

"Oh my god! Taeyong!" your orgasm washes over you like a high tide on a Sunday morning. Taeyong pulls you closer, licking you through your orgasm, drawing every bit of your essence out just to shove it right back into you.  He thinks you look so pretty when he sits up, legs quivering, eyes closed, mouth parted. 

"Did you−are we?" the curiosity in his puppy like eyes makes your heart flutter in your chest. When you don't answer he lays next to you, pulling you flush against his chest so he can spoon you, "You felt amazing by the way."

"Taeyong..." his name flies from your mouth but only through a whisper. He waits for an answer, but you never give him one, "Let's just go to sleep. We can discuss politics in the morning."

"Anything you want you have it...my heart included. Goodnight pretty girl." His voice is soft as he holds you tighter and pulls the covers over you.

"You're so beautiful. I wish I could make you mine." 

But he only admits it when he’s sure you’re asleep


	2. Chapter 2

Warnings: angst +  some revelation of Taeyong and your past , nsfw 

~

"Good morning, Taeyong" You mutter sleepily when you wake up. It's 9am on Sunday morning and you don't have long before you have to get up and prepare tomorrow's lesson plans," Do you need a ride back to the dorms I can— "you stop when you notice the emptiness of the bed, how cold the space is next to you, an indication that he left hours ago. 

If last night was just a dream, then the universe has a harsh way of letting you know you're unwanted. Searching around the room, you find your exes clothes folded into a neat pile and a tied off condom in the trash. No goodbye letter or text, just a cold spot next to you on the bed.

This was your reality. A harsh one at that. You feel tears prick at the corners of your eyes but you didn't want to be 'that girl'−the one that cries over lame ass fuckboys−but damn waking up alone hurt. There was no text message, no goodbye, no 'I'm sorry, this isn't gonna work.'. He just up and left. 

This has always been a reality for you, you had taken yourself out of the dating game because of things like this: Being picked up by a guy who 'loved chocolate' and curly hair but then being dropped for a girl who was as pale as the flu made children in summer. 

"Guess I should have seen that coming...especially after what I did to him back then..."Sighing, you collect yourself and head to the shower. Although you try to forget him the ache between your legs is far from letting Lee Taeyong slip away that easily.

Today's breakfast is simple: a cup of black tea,sweetened of course, and brown sugar cinnamon oatmeal. It's the breakfast choice that has always managed to comfort you when you're sad.

It relaxes you and relaxation is what you need after you've raided your makeup bag looking for concealer and foundation. Seems the universe isn't done embarrassing you as you finally find the empty bottle of your mocha honey colored foundation. The hickies on your neck stick out like a sore thumb and you're also low on green and red color corrector. "Fucking Taeyong. Just going to fuck me and leave! Mark up my skin like some piece of shit animal. I hate you!" You curse him, throwing on a knit scarf to hide his disgraceful claim on your skin.

As you go through your days, the emptiness in your heart yearns for that part of him that made you feel whole. 

"I just wanted to protect you." You find you self crying into your pillow at night,"I never meant to hurt you."

~

You never thought that he'd throw you away like trash after you cared for him, that he'd treat you like some cheap whore. It hurt badly, but you wouldn't let him get the satisfaction of knowing that. You needed to be strong for the kids you worked with, they didn't need to see their noonie/unnie crying. 

It's nearly a week later before you're able to starting moving past Taeyong. Occasionally your mind floats back to his smile, the softness of his hair, the warmness of his chest, but you try and shake the thoughts. You go out on small blind dates that your girlfriends set up but they don't remind you of him,kiss you like him, smile like him.  

Today you sit at the kitchen table drinking a cup of mocha latte to warm you up from the bite of the winter weather. The taste of the warm hot chocolate and a shot of expresso has you feeling relaxed, so relaxed that you nearly doze off, had it not been for a knock on your door springing you back to life. 

Answering it, you're surprised to see a shivering Taeyong standing at your door, a bouquet of red roses in his hands. " 15...15 red roses to say I'm sorry." standing there silently, you try to figure out your emotions before speaking, "I know that was lame, but I didn't want to show up here empty handed." 

You start to shut the door in his face when he reaches a hand out to stop you,   
"Don't do this. Please?" His eyes plead you to find some sympathy in his departure. He steps into your apartment, closing and locking the door behind him. He can see the tears glazing up in your pretty brown eyes and it hurts him, "...Please?"

"Don't do what? Be upset about the way you used me up like I was some cheap ass whore? The way you disappeared for a week then just show up here with some shitty ass roses and think that's going to make everything okay?" your voice quivers as you try to prevent the stinging feeling in your eyes from developing into tears, "I know we have history together and I know it ended badly but if this is your revenge then fine! You win Taeyong!" 

"I− " 

"Get out. Just leave." You yell, cutting him off. He steps forward, placing the roses on the coffee table besides you. You can't stop the tears from free flowing at this point.  

"That was never my intention. Do you think I'd come back if it was? "He reaches out to touch you, but you slap his hand away.

"Look I gotta call from Ten early that morning saying that SM wasn't happy with me skipping a practice and never returning to the dorms that night. I dropped my phone when I tripped on the bus step. When I dropped It I was texting you. My laptop gotta a virus from the dream kids downloading too many games on it and I...I'm sorry that I left without telling you, but I'm here now isn't that okay?"

His eyes are soft as they search your face for any hint of forgiveness. Caressing your cheek gently, he pulls you against his chest. The softness of his heart beat reassures you that he's telling the truth, that you should believe him. 

"I hate you Lee Taeyong." Your tears flood like the ancient Nile did long ago. Taeyong rubs your back in up and down motions, reassuring that he never meant to hurt you.

"I know baby. I know." He chuckles, tilting your chin up to kiss you, "But you gotta have more faith in me then this, I promised you that you could have anything you wanted, my heart included. You think I'd tell anyone that?" 

"I thought you left me Tae. You couldn't have called from someone else's phone, mailed me a letter? You just show up here with flowers expecting me to forgive you." Taeyong loves the way your lower lip pokes out when you pout at him, makes him want to kiss you drunk.

"You're right, let me take you out to dinner then. You know we never got to discussing those politics." He winks.

"We're never going to discuss anything if you ever pull this crap again." You grab him by his shirt, pulling him down until he's eye level with you, and kiss him with the passion of a saint.

Fuck. You leave him shook.

~~

Dinner with Taeyong is like nothing you've ever experienced before. You've missed the dates you used to go on with him. He takes you to a Korean barbecue place and spits random ad libs to make you laugh. He flirts with you, steals sips from your drink and makes you feed him as if he's a child. You don't think you've ever laughed so much on a date before.

His aeygo is terrible, you agree mutually on that one but Taeyong has always made you weak in the knees. He sneaks so many kisses you have to shoo him away through laughs and playful 'stop its'. When he asks if you want to go Dutch or would you rather him just pay for everything, you think you may have found the man of your dreams. 

"Sweet thing are you tired?" He asks, squeezing your hand softly. Your head rest on his shoulder as you cling to his arm. The two of you sit on the bus, riding back to your apartment. He's already made it clear that he wants to stay with you, fuck what SM has to say about it. 

"I don't know. I don't feel tired, I just don't like the way you're going to disappear. Remember last time..." Your voice is barely a whisper. Being left abruptly scares you, especially since Taeyong is someone you've liked so much, for so long, "Maybe we shouldn't have done that at all. I didn't know it was going to hurt like this..."

"Hey, hey, hey! Don't say things like that. I'll never do that to you again okay?" His thumbs run in circles over your knuckles, "What can I do to make it up to you, make you see that I'm dead serious about you?" He whispers in your ear when the bus reaches your stop.

You don't offer him much of an answer outside of: "Let me think on it." While the two of you are walking back. 

"You okay?" He asks, taking your keys from your shaking hands when the two of you get to your apartment. You nod and slip your winter coat off, placing it on a random chair before moving to turn the heater on.

"Come here." Taeyong says laying down on the couch. You settle next to him but he's quick to scoop you into his arms, holding you tightly against him, "Found a way I could make it up to you yet, precious girl?" He whispers.

You shake your head no as you rest against Taeyong's chest. His body heat warms you more than the heater ever could and soon you catch yourself dozing off against him, "Want to head to bed?" Taeyong whispers. When you nod, he scoops you into his arms and makes way to the bedroom. 

"Your room is a mess you know that? Why are there so many books everywhere?" He sets you down on your back, hovering over you, smoothing a strand of hair out of your face.

"I was searching for one of my English textbooks for the kids...err not my kids. I work at a daycare." Taeyong nods and kisses your lips softly. You kiss him back, wrapping an arm around his neck. 

"You teach kids...? Would you teach ours? I can teach them Korean and you can teach them English." He smirks, kissing the crook of your neck. You moan when you feel his tongue touch that spot on your neck, the spot that makes you cry out the loudest. 

"What do you mean ours? "You ask, searching for the button on his jeans. He directs your hand, chuckling when you struggle to unbutton them. 

"I mean you should be my girl." He slips his jeans off along with his shirt, pulling you into his lap to kiss you again. His tongue runs across your bottom lip while his hands busy themselves teasing you.

"Your girl? Hmm...I don't know." Taeyong pulls your shirt off. Your bra is next and then his tongue is on your skin:Licking your left nipple in circles, before sucking on it, alternating between the two while his hand dips into your panties.

"What don't you know? If you're mine, I'll fuck you like I did a week ago every single day." You moan when you feel his finger slide inside of you, curling against the walls of your heat. 

"Ahh-fuck-Tae!" he kisses you, letting his tongue slide into your mouth. His fingers work open you while his mouth alternates between your nipples.

" You feel good sweet girl? Hmm?" He unbuttons your jeans and slides your panties off . His fingers slide back into your heat as his tongue finds your slit. Your voice is so that Taeyong feels as though he may come right now,"I exist to please you. Tell me what you want, lead me."

"Yes Ty. Please don't stop!" He hums against your clit, dipping his tongue in and out of your slit until your legs start to tremble. 

"Not yet baby. Not yet." He stops, leaning over to look for a condom. You stop him.

"What's the matter baby?" You don't say anything, instead leaning over on your knees to take him in your mouth. The sudden pleasure knocks the wind out of his chest. He's breathless as you bob your head up and down. He leans back on his arms, watching you suck him off. 

"Yo-you didn't have t-to-" His fingers weave through your curls. He notes how silky and soft the hair is, how it smells like coconut, how it feels like magic. He has the urge to pull on it, make you take him deep down your throat, make you choke around him. 

" Can I...Pull your hair?" He ask softly. You can hear the nerves in his voice. You stare at him wide eyed, his dick in your mouth, and nod the best you can.  Flexing his hips, he forces your head down his length, pulling your hair upwards when you start choking around him. It's a rinse and repeat cycle, he loves the feeling you're giving him.

"Oh god baby yes...Your mouth is so good." You pull away from him, taking his balls into your mouth. His orgasm is instantaneous, spilling around his thighs, and on his hands, which are wrapped around his cock, stroking softly. 

"Sorry...I didn't mean to..." The embarrassment in his eyes is so apparent that you can't help but to French kiss him. 

"Come on baby I need you to fuck me. If you fuck me right, I'll be your girl." You tease, biting at his neck. He groans when you sink your teeth into his throat, leaving your mark on his skin.

"You know that's mean? Hmm, Baiting me into a relationship through sex. You're pretty damn evil." He pulls you into his lap, filling you up instantly, "-Think that pettiness is what I love about you." He flexes his hips upwards into you, biting into any skin he can find. 

"Mm Taeyong I think I love how sweet you are." You rest your hands on his shoulders, matching his pace while you ride him. His hands go to your hips, fucking up into you as if to punish you. 

"Baby I love how good you feel right now." He flips you on your back, legs against his chest, fucking you harder, faster. His fingers fly to your clit, rubbing it as he pounds into your heat. You feel yourself tightening around him, sucking him deeper , not willing to let him go again.

"Fuck. Come for me. Please?" his voice is in shambles as he slows down his hips. He fucks you harder but keeps his pace slow. When you come, he comes with you, pressing his lips against yours. 

"You're so gorgeous." He caresses your cheek and lays down next to you. His hair is damp with sweat as is his skin but that doesn't stop you from laying on his chest, "You're all I can think about. Your voice, your smile, your beautiful skin, your hair. You've got me whipped. Be my girl, please?" His eyes are soft, and you can't help but to fall for his puppy like stare. 

"Okay I'll agree on one condition. You have to dom me like that every day Ty, I mean it. You're sexy when you're in control." 

"You're sexier. I think I'd like it a little better if you lead me. I like how you take control, makes me wanna fuck you into oblivion." Your eyes widen at his confession and you smack his shoulder, "What? It's true. I'm not really the domineering type...I rather let you show me, I don't want to mess things up...I like you way too much." He turns away from you, laying on his side. To admit that was  too embarrassing for him. 

He knows  a man should be tough but that's never been him. Even when SM makes him put on the front, he's never been able to be that way in real life. He's sensitive, caring too much about the way people feel, the way they see him. 

He's a nerd too, he remembers when he'd used to invite you to go to the comic book shop with him and the of you would argue about if Marvel or DC was better. He remembers staying up late nights, popping kettle corn and turning on an anime you've never seen before. 

"Fuck I'm so dumb. Why did I ever let you go? I was so stupid." You can feel him shaking but you rest your head against his freckled back, laying soft kisses against it to calm him.

"We agreed that it was for the best Ty. You know that when we were training to debut any dating would have led to a scandal and with everything that was happening around you, to you, I had to make that choice to let you go. I saw how much those rumors were hurting you, I couldn't deal with knowing I only added fuel to the fire." Taeyong jets upwards, eyes blazing, fist shaking. 

"Fuck that. I should have never agreed. I thought about you every damn day. Wondering when I was going to run into you again! I should have never let this industry take you away from me. I was so in love with you and then you just dropped a bomb on me. Telling me how you thought you were protecting me and my career!" 

"Tae...I...I didn't want to cause you anymore pain. You know I love you too. I never wanted to let you go but it was either me or your career." You reach out a hand to touch him, but he pulls away from you. 

"That wasn't your choice to make though! It was mine and I would have chosen you over all of this. I wouldn't have even blinked an eye. I don't need publicity if it means losing you!" He yells. You can feel the tears boiling at your eyes but he's in the same boat as you. 

"It was too my choice to make! I chose your career because I knew you'd choose me over it. I couldn't let you throw away all your hard work for me. Taeyong I never stopped loving you even for a second. Even though it's been almost three years, I have never stopped loving you, but I wanted to see you be happy. I wanted to see you achieve your dreams.

"That. wasn't. your. Choice. To. Make. You left me!" His voice waivers with every syllable.

"I'm here now isn't that enough?" You find yourself repeating the same words he spoke to you earlier that day. Tears roll down your cheek, your lip quivering as you finally admit how much leaving Taeyong hurt you. He grabs your arm, pulling you forward, letting his lips crash against yours. The way he kisses you is sloppy, pouring his every emotion in: hurt, anger, sadness, fear, disappointment. 

"I don't want you to lose you again...Ever...Please don't leave." He begs. 

"Taeyong I have to. We can't do this. I can't be the one to ruin your career."  

"Yes, you can. You won't ruin it please. Please don't go." His eyes are round, pleading with you to stay,"Why are you so scared? Why do you keep running away from me?" 

"No I can't Tae. You'll be fine without me. This shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have ever had sex with you the first night. That was a mistake..this was a mistake..."

"Please don't do this to me all over again." He begs, as you get up to collect both of your clothes.

"Get dressed Taeyong, you should go home."

"Please...I love you.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: hair pulling, dom/sub, biting, slapping,
> 
> (a/n: I’m sorry for the messiness of this chapter)

“Taeyong please just get dressed.” He grabs his boxers sliding them on before pulling you into his lap. You don’t want to lose Taeyong, but you don’t want to ruin him either, “Taeyong please you’re making this hard for me…”

“Then stop running away. It won’t be hard then, we can make this work.” He holds you close to him, feeling your body shake as you cry, “You don’t have to keep breaking your heart for me. What are you scared of, you know I’d never hurt you?” 

“No, we can’t. You need to stop this, please for me?” You try to pull away to hide the tears that slip down your face, but he won’t let you. Instead he wipes them away, kissing you softly. You don’t kiss back but it doesn’t bother him much.

“Why can’t we make it work? You’re hurting yourself and for what? You love me, and I love you, just be my girlfriend. We can figure the rest later.” You want this man so badly, so much it breaks you willpower, you can’t resist him.

“I don’t want to hurt you...I don’t want to ever be the reason you’re in pain.” Taeyong kisses your forehead lightly. You hate the way your body instinctively relaxes against him, how he’s your calm in the eye of the storm. 

“You’re hurting me now. Just say yes, I got you. I’ll catch you when you fall, wipe your tears when you cry, hold you when you have a nightmare. You know me, don’t you? Let me love you the way I used to, the way I’m trying to now?” Taeyong presses his lips against yours again. This time you kiss him back. 

“Okay Taeyong...okay.” He smiles when he pulls away from your lips. Suddenly you’re on your back being tickled by your boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

The word feels sweet on your tongue especially when you add Lee Taeyong in after it. 

“You know you’ve always been such a crybaby, right? “he raises his eyebrows, you smack his shoulder trying to get him from off you.

“You know you’ve always been a huge dork?” You stick your tongue out before pulling him down for another kiss. He loves the way you take control, how you own his heart, how you real him in, “Ty are you-? Ohhh no, nun-uh. Nope. Not at all. It’s a no go for me. We are not having sex again!” the boy whines, pleading you with his eyes. He’s waiting for your permission, waiting for to tell him what to do. 

“You make me the happiest man on this planet, let me show you how happy you make me.” He presses his hips into yours, his clothed erection brushing the sensitive head of your clit. You're about to give in when a ring from your phone stops you. Taeyong moves so you can answer the call. As you talk on the phone, he notices how your face drops and moves in to hold you against him. 

“What’s the matter sweet thing?” He nuzzles his face into your neck, his hair tickling you.

“My ex is outside...he wants to talk...” You get up off of Taeyong and throw on his hoodie. Your lover follows your lead but not before snatching you in a hug from behind, his chin resting on your head.

“You’re shaking like a leaf.” He notices, “Did ever he ever…hit you?” The look in Taeyong’ s eyes is dead serious. You don’t say anything, giving Taeyong all the confirmation he needs. He storms towards the door and you follow him, begging to calm down. 

“Ty please wait!” He doesn’t listen to you and answers the door. The male in front of him is taller, well built, and Taeyong would even consider him handsomer, but that won’t stop him from ever defending you. No man will. 

“Where is she at?” The guy doesn’t even acknowledge Taeyong’ s presence, in fact he laughs at the hickey’s littered around his neck, “I see my lil whore’s been getting busy as if we didn’t break up a few weeks ago. Anyway, move or be moved.” 

“You should leave, Hesoo” You interject from behind Taeyong. You know how violent your exes’ temper is and the last thing you want to see is your lover get hurt after all that fighting he did for you just a minute ago. 

“Leave?” Hesoo questions. You’re about to shut the door in his face when he pushes you aside and barges in. Taeyong, immediately swings, hitting him dead in the jaw. 

“Stop. Taeyong! Stop!” You yell, standing up, rushing to Taeyong. His breathing is heavy, and his eyes are wild with anger. You’ve never seen him like this and honestly, it’s a turn on, “He’s not worth an assault charge…” You caress Taeyong’s face gently, trying to calm him down. 

“Hesoo just leave! You always do this!” You turn to Hesoo, who’s nursing his bloodied jaw. The male collects himself and stands up to hit you. He wants to solve his own annoyance but wanting not to try Taeyong again. The hit comes so fast you don’t see your boyfriend catch it nor do you see him restrain Hesoo. But when you realize you haven’t been hit, you rush to grab your cellphone. When you start to call the cops, Taeyong stops you by shoving the male out the door.

“Don’t come here again. Don’t even call her again, if you do we’re going to have an issue on our hands.” With that he slams the door shut. When he comes back in you shove him against the doorframe, lips crashing against his, teeth classing, biting at his lower lip. Taeyong hoist you up, kissing you back. 

“That was so sexy Ty. Where did you learn to do all that?” You say, nibbling his neck. He rolls his hips against yours while searching for the button on his jeans. 

“I was a bad kid growing up. Needed to defend myself y’know?” he lifts you a bit higher, searching under his hoodie, “So you were just going to answer the door with no panties?” Taeyong ask thumbing at your clit. The sounds you make are musical, feeding his ego. 

“I forgot I didn’t have any on, most girl don’t wear underwear around the house!” You defend as he slides two fingers into you. 

“My girl does, especially when she has guest.” Your head falls back against the door as you tighten your legs around his waist. 

“Wait are you jealous Ty? Fuck, that’s adorable.” Taeyong doesn’t answer you, instead he fingers you faster, curling against the spot he knows will finish you the quickest. 

“So, what if I am?” He ask, sucking at your throat as you come. 

“I-I’ve never heard of a possessive sub before, fuck you’re killing me today.” You moan through the aftershock of your orgasm, “Fuck me pretty boy.” You grind against his fingers which are still inside you. 

“No.” His voice is stern, but you sense the playful gleam in his eyes. Grabbing his hair, you yank his head back until he’s groaning in pain. 

“Oh, so you wanna play rebel now huh?” You whisper harshly against his ear, biting the lobe. “Do what I said, brat.” He shutters at the command, scrambling to feel you up. He’s so thick you that it makes you bite your lip. Taeyong quickly kisses you before thrusting upwards. 

“Did I tell you you could move Babyboy hmm? Please don’t make me have to hurt you.” His eyes glow in excitement, waiting, wanting nothing more than to please you, “We wouldn’t want that after you were such a good boy defending me?”

“No, I’m sorry. Can I please move?” You make him wait for minutes, noting the way his face twitches, “Please…this is torture.” He begs, kissing at your neck. He’s a rebel, not too keen on listening to your commands, a glutton for punishment. You won’t hurt him tonight, not after he just went out the way to defend your honor. Most guys would have run, but Taeyong stayed, defended you, made sure you weren’t hurt. 

“Move Ty. Fuck me…please.” When taeyong starts moving against you, you forget who the sub is. You beg for him, plead him to fuck you into tomorrow, like you don’t have work, like you didn’t just tell him that you didn’t want this. Your legs wrap around his waist tighter the faster he fucks you. His lips swallow every single sound you produce as his tongue forces its way into your mouth.

“You feel so good. I love you. I love you, don’t leave me again.” He feels his end nearing and begins to lose his pace, “I need to come. Can I come? I’m begging you baby, please.” The whine in his voice has you tightening against him. You dig your nails into his back, nearly screaming for him to come as you climax around him. Taeyong fucks you through it, coming into you before collapsing against the doorframe, you in his arms.

“You really still love me? After all these years?” You mumble, laying against him. He’s out of breath, milked clean from your little escaped. Part of him hopes your ex heard how well he fucked you, how you cried out his name as if he was your last savior. 

“Love can’t ever go away.” His pushes a loose curl out of your face, “I have loved you since the moment we met, until the time you left me, and I love you now. Nothing will ever change that, no matter how much you hurt me, use me, even if you break me. I’ll still love you.” You feel the tears prick at your eyes and taeyong laughs. 

“You’re such a cry baby and I thought I was sensitive.” He laughs louder, scooping you into his arms. He notices how drained your eyes look and makes it a point to get you back to bed as soon as possible.

“I love you too Tae.” You whisper, sleepily cuddling up to him. His hands run down your sides as he whispers sweet nothings in your ear. For the first time in a while:

Lee Taeyong feels relaxed.


	4. 4 cleverly subtitled a river of first

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nsfw warnings: choking, biting, sub Taeyong, cum swapping/
> 
> A/n: yeah idk what’s wrong with me. I’m so ashamed wash my sins clean sweet Jesus. Also, I think the genre of this is just slice of life, as is Kihyun’s, and that’s okay because not every thing needs to have some intense plot line. This will just be the journey of how you and TY heal together.

“T-Tae! W-what, oh fuck! Don’t stop!” waking up with your boyfriend’s head between your legs, tonguing down your clit on a Sunday morning is one of the best gifts you could ever ask for. You have a brief flashback to the time when you played truth or dare drunk with Taeyong and his friends, accidently disposing that you may or may not want to be woken up by the feeling of your boyfriend’s head dragging down your cunt one day. 

You’re surprised he remembered that as the both of you were so drunk you ended up having to stay the night at his big sister’s house to which he earned one of the longest lectures ever and accidently told his ‘sister to shut up because she was embarrassing him in front of his crush’. You’ve never seen someone get slapped so hard before, but that night was the first time he admitted he had a crush on you and the first time you slept in his bed; wrapped up in the sheets, limbs tangled together, clinging to each other as the alcohol drove the desperation the two of you felt for each other off a cliff. That was one of the best nights your life. 

“Good morning.” He kisses the head of your clit before lazily stroking it with his index finger. The sound of your voice cast a spell on him and he knows you’re done for when he slides two fingers into you and you yank his hair. His tongue runs stripes and circles along the folds of your cunt, “I don’t have long. I have to return to the dorms soon, but I’ll make you breakfast before I go.” 

Sitting up you push him on his back. Taeyong is surprised but pleased at the greedy look in your eyes, “Do you really have to go? I just got you back.” You whine, lowering his boxers. His cock is thick with arousal, hitting his stomach with a pop. The sight is so delicious to you that in seconds, your mouth is on him.

“Y-yeah. I can come back later this week th-though...m-maybe take you o-out— Oh fuck that’s so good —again.” The shakiness of Taeyong’s voice has your hand traveling between your legs, fingering yourself as you bob your head. His hand finds your scalp, resting there as he flexes his hips, fucking your throat gently.   
You almost forgot how sensitive Taeyong’s skin was until you hear the loud moan he makes when you run your tongue along his thigh, nipping the skin softly, “I forgot how sensitive my baby boy was.” You tease, sucking a hickey into his thigh. He’s already going to get hell from the staff members for the marks on his neck, so you figure it’d be best to leave him a few more in private. A little gift so he won’t forget just how much you love him; how much you spoil him.

“I really don’t want you to though Taeyongie. Oh~” Taeyong moans loudly when you sink down on his length. His hands fly to your body, holding your hips as you move against him, “Morning sex is definitely our thing~” 

Taeyong wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you down so he can tongue one of your nipples. It feels amazing although you break away because it’s hard to ride him when your bodies are pressed together, but he settles for fondling your breast instead “It definitely is. Fuck, I love you. Oh fuck!” 

 

When he leads your hand to his neck, the pleasure warps into confusion. He sighs and whispers for you to choke him. He wants to feel your hands around his throat as you ride him, as he fucks up into you for being such a bitch yesterday: “Do you want me to...I don’t know about this Yongie. I don’t want to hurt you.” Your teeth find your lip as Taeyong’s dick hits a particularly pleasurable spot inside of you. It’s a plea in the form of a warning. You know Taeyong can easily tear you apart but he’s giving you the chance to dominate him before his instincts kick in and your head is smashed against a pillow with him pulling your hips back into his as he fucks you from behind. 

“Please...I trust you.” Sighing, you allow him to guide your dominate hand to his neck, “Here like this. Squeeze right here gently, baby. Don’t kill me, if you try I’ll know for sure you’re not over the me leaving thing...” The joke he makes has you on even more of an edge, so he takes the time to reassure you by flexing his hips upwards, bouncing you on him for a quick moment, letting the pleasure distort your fears, “Don’t worry baby I’m sturdy. I want you to hurt me. Please...?” 

Taeyong nearly comes when he feels you squeeze his throat. His moans are louder, desperate. Choking him, has you feeling good as well, powerful, in control. It’s so arousing, it’s power play at its finest.

You ride him fast, harder, slamming yourself down on his dick until you feel yourself dizzying with pleasure, legs shaking, hard trembling around his throat, driven by sounds of his unrestrained pleasure, “Yes baby, fuck me just like that. You’re so good to me. -could let you ride me like this forever, god I love you so much.” He moans, forcing you down harder. You don’t think you’ve ever experienced something so pleasurable, so tainting as you explode around his cock. Taeyong holds you down on him, burying himself deep inside you, when he notices you’re coming. 

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to...” Hiding your face in your palm, you get up off him. His hard dick hits his stomach with a pop leaving stain of wetness on his abs. The embarrassment you feel from coming from something so taboo is inevitable. Choking your boyfriend is something you would never imagined yourself doing in a million years, let alone getting off from it. 

“Can I touch myself?” Taeyong pants, rutting his hips upwards. You notice how swollen the head of his dick is, how thick it looks against the happy trail on his stomach, how engorged his veins are. Taeyong is a snack and you want him more than anything else in the world right now. 

“Yes, baby boy. Touch yourself for me, let me see you come.” The sounds he makes when he wraps his hand around his cock has your mouth watering and your hand stroking your clit.

“You’re so pretty baby. You always make me feel so good. I love the way you fuck me.” He pants. You can’t help yourself, leaning over you run your tongue over his balls; fingers inside of yourself and teeth nipping at his thigh every blue moon. Taeyong strokes himself faster, the feeling of your tongue in tandem with his own hand is almost too much to handle.

“Oh fuck. Oh, fuck.” When you take his balls into your mouth he feels as if he’s reached his last moments of life. His orgasm knocks the wind out of him, spilling over his hand and thigh. You work fast though, using your tongue to clean up his mess. He kisses you, tongue in your mouth, tasting himself on you. 

“You’re gross.” Taeyong says when he pulls away. 

“Coming from the guy who just asked me to choke him. I don’t think you have a leg to stand on Ty.” Your tongue sticks out your mouth, teasing him. Taeyong won’t be beat however, he runs his own tongue against yours, flipping you over so he’s above you.

“You literary licked my come off my thigh, I don’t think that has anything on me asking to be choked.” He gasps when he feels you wrap your legs around him, grinding yourself against him.

“You kissed me after I did it so who’s really the sick one here?” 

“You’re dominate until my dick is inside you then you melt like ice so shut up because people who can’t handle themselves have no room to talk.” 

“I’m so turned on, yet I don’t know why. Tell me to shut up again.” You tease, pulling him down to you so you can kiss him.

“You know what else should be turned on.” He whispers, running his fingers across your stomach and leaning into your ear. “The shower we need to take because I need to go.”

“Fuck you.” You laugh, snatching a kiss from him, “Only a dork like you could say something so lame and still manage to be adorable.”

“All part of my charm.” He winks, smacking your leg.

~~~

Breakfast with Taeyong is composed of the two of you racing to see who can finish their dish faster. You play dirty, per usual, stealing kisses and ingredients from him. He retorts by smacking your ass and whining until you feel bad for thieving. It’s a ploy though, he knows how weak you are to his pouting. Taeyong in general makes you weak in the knees, especially when he’s holding you up on the counter making out with you, so he can steal your cartoon of eggs.

“You really ain’t shit Lee Taeyong.” He sticks his tongue out, “I’m totally gonna fuck you up.”

“If you’re feeling bold, lean over that counter and I’ll fuck you right here.” However, he hears the alarm on his phone warning he has about ten minutes until the bus comes, “On second thought, I’ll take a rain check. Come on let’s eat. By the way I win.” He points at the French toast you didn’t finish for the sake of having his lips on yours.

“That’s because you’re a goddamn cheater and I’ll definitely sign that check ‘cause I’ve never had kitchen sex before.” You say claiming his lips again. 

Instead of eating at the table the two of you enjoy breakfast in the same position you are in now: You, sitting on the kitchen counter and Taeyong, standing between your legs. 

“No.” he says in reference to the earlier conversation.

“Why not?” You whine as he feeds you a piece of his egg sandwich. 

“I don’t like germs.” 

~

Watching Taeyong get on the bus is like having your heart ripped from your chest. Although you fought against being with him so hard, not being with him for even a second has you hurting. Its always been this way with you two, since the time you were trainees you never wanted to be away from each other. You guys did duets together, dance routines, even wrote songs together. 

Everyone was sure that SM would have you two become a duet and scrap the idea of NCT, Red Velvet, and your band VEN.OM all together. Unfortunately, it was your band that got scrapped as a divide start to form between the other five members. Some girls accused others that they were acting ‘better than thou’ and got more spotlight. Ultimately it lead to a physical altercation and being banned from SM for being ‘too violent.’ The whole situation was messy, but you felt especially wronged. The fight had nothing to do with you as you were out eating dinner with Taeyong the night of. It felt like your dream had been snatched away from you.

However, he was there to wipe your tears away. You stayed with him that night and that was the first time he made love to you, the first time you admitted you were in love with each other. He was gentle letting his feelings spill over into the way he handled you, loved you, held you. That was also the night you decided it was best to cut this off out of concern for his career. That was the first time you had to break you own heart out of love for someone else. 

“Bye bye baby.” You mouth as his bus pulls off. He blows you a kiss and signals to you that he’ll call when he gets in. 

 

But he doesn't, instead you get a text from him telling you that he’s in trouble with the managers−Your guess because of the liter of mouth-caused-‘lacerations’ on his neck− and may not be able to talk to you for a while. Leave it to SM to layer on the vibe killing. It’s the second time they’ve snatched Taeyong away from you. 

Although he’s sneaky, how, you don’t know, but he finds loop holes in SM’s punishment in order to email and send selcas. It’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you. You feel like you’re in high school again, sneaking away to see your grounded Romeo. 

About a week later you’re tuned into a random NCT127 Vlive while working on a lesson plan. You note how busy Taeyong looks typing away on a cellphone while members ask him to update them on the heart and viewer count every few minutes or so. 

Then your phone rings and there’s a text noting how much he loves you and misses you. You text him back that you miss him too and then send him a particular risqué picture of your breast, as revenge for being away for so long.

His eyes nearly pop out of their socket and when the other members ask what’s wrong he lies and says that an email from some R18 site popped up on his phone.   
Laughter catches you at how bad a liar Taeyong is along with a quick apology text and a pouting face. 

Then he texts you to be ready because when the Vlive ends he’s coming to scoop you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave comments plz


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: more emotional angst, drama (lol), slapping, choking, everything's consensual y'all, I promise it's just kinky sex not mental abuse, dom Taeyong, rough, dirty talk, hair pulling, face fucking

Somehow you find yourself in an Internet cafe, drinking hot chocolate and eating coffee cake with Lee Taeyong. It’s a nice change of pace considering how your dates used to consisted of making out during replays of Gundam, Akira, or Afro Samurai. Not that you were complaining−in fact you actually miss sitting on a 19year old Taeyong’s lap while he dry fucks you and shoves his tongue down your throat— but going to a café with your boyfriend has always been a dream of yours. The aroma of coffee, the sun windows, the couples who sit and reminisces, it warms your heart to Taeyong.

 

However, it also makes you hesitate. 

 

Your boyfriend makes it a personal goal of his to make you laugh and smile. He tells you about his day at dance practice showing the video of Taeil and Ten’s dance battle rematch. He also makes it a personal goal to ask you about your day, so you know he cares.

 

"It's the same ole same ole. Me running after a bunch toddlers while trying to teach them English." You sway your hand back in forth signaling nonchalance. However, when Taeyong notices you stealing some of his cake, he remember how greedy you can get when something's bothering you.

 

"You sure?" he ask, reaching over to brush a crumb away from your lips, “I know how you like to eat when you're stressed. I remember after a big performance you'd text me and ask me to bring you loads of m&m's." he chuckles, "You haven't changed a bit."

 

"I have changed, for one thing m&m’s aren’t my favorite candy. Reese cups are now."

“Noted.” His eyes are decorated in an emotion that you can’t put your finger on. Studying him, you try to resist the piece of cake that sits on Taeyong’s plate, calling to you, begging you to soothe your emotional discontent. 

“See I’m fine.” Taeyong offers you the piece of cake which you firmly reject. 

 

"You also blink twice when you lie." the look on his face lets you know that you've been caught.

 

Nervous to tell him what's bothering you, you mess with his feet under the table, “If you want the cake take it.”

 

"It's just...dating you is hard. Like I haven’t seen you in two weeks and then I get a text from you during a Vlive telling me that you're gonna come pick me up. I just. I guess I'm just insecure, still." you admit, stuffing the piece of cake in your mouth and burying your frustrations in the hot chocolate that inadvertently burns your tongue. 

 

Of course, your boyfriend notices, Although it helps that you make it apparent by fanning your mouth and searching the table for anything cold. 

 

Taeyong reaches over , pulling you closer by your arm, and Frenches you. He could care less about the people watching, the photos being taken, or the disgusted whispers. He just wants you, and also wants to make sure your mouth is okay, but mainly you.

 

"I know things are hard right now, but I promise they'll get better. We just have to stick it out, please don't give up on us just yet. Please? I just got you back I don't want to lose you again, I can't lose you again, I can't let you slip through my fingers again." he smoothes a piece of hair out of your face, catching your gaze. 

 

You jerk your head away, embarrassed by his lack of public decency. You’ve never been a PDA type of girl but Taeyong has never cared much for your no PDA rule,"Taeyong...I don't know. I feel like it’s not going to work out."

 

"It isn't if you keep letting yourself get into the way of your own happiness. Look, I should have fought for you back then, I should have never agreed to leaving you, especially after what happened that night. You broke my heart, I won't lie but my feelings haven't changed. We were in love, are in love. I won't let you hurt yourself thinking you're protecting me again. I just need you to trust me okay? I've got you." 

 

“Okay.” You whisper. You yourself can’t understand why you don’t let yourself be with Taeyong fully. Perhaps because it’s easier to tell yourself you can’t love him rather than letting yourself love him. 

 

However when you do let yourself love him it’s feels as if you’re falling yet at the same time you’re motionless. He captivates you, brings you into his world and holds you captive there. His love sends chills down your system, oxygen into your blood stream, beats to your heart.

 

“Estoy loco mi dulce coco.” His smirk makes you roll your eyes. Only Taeyong would think of using his own lyrics as a way to woo you and only you would find it absolutely adorable. Taeyong hasn’t changed a bit, he’s still the same nerdy shy boy you fell in love with three years ago.

 

“I love you.” The phrase slips through your mouth before you even realize it. You’ve said it before but this time it’s rooted in fear and riddled with sadness. Being with Taeyong is like a ticking time bomb. 

 

“I love you too. It’s getting late and I want to take you somewhere else.” Taeyong grabs your hand, leading you to the cashier so he can pay before leading you out the door.

 

The coldness of the outside air kisses your face and forces you to lean into Taeyong for warmth. When he notices what you’re doing he slips you his jacket to wear. You want to tell him that he shouldn’t risk a cold for you, but you know how that conversation is going to go so you just take it. The walk to wherever you’re going is silent although the interlacing of your hands is all the conversation you need. You watch the world around you, taking in sights until you’re walking up the stairs reaching a door that’s more than familiar to you.

 

It’s his sister’s apartment.

 

“My sister went out of town to take care of some business and asked me to watch her apartment for the weekend while she was gone. I talked to SM and they gave me leave.” He explains, unlocking the door.

 

“I know I usual prefer to be alone, but I want to spend every moment of the day with you. You’re all I can think about, but it feels like you don’t feel the same...am I doing something wrong? Do you not love me anymore.?” Taeyong asks, tossing the keys on the counter and plopping down on the floor. You sit next to him trying to find words to say. 

 

“You know it’s not that, I love you, you know that Taeyong.”

 

“Do I?” His eyes search yours for some sort of truth, proof that you’re not lying to him, “I constantly put my feelings out yet all you do is reject them. Do you just want to have sex with me? Is that all I am to you?" he bites his lip out of nervousness.

 

"You know what, I’m okay with that, I’m okay with being used by you." Your eyes glisten with heartbreak. You’ve had this conversation so many times that it’s starting to feel like this is all your relationship will ever be. You don’t know what to do, what to say, how to make it right, how to make it stop—

 

“It’s not that Taeyong. You know I’d never use you.”

 

“Then what is it?” The cracking in his voice breaks your heart. Taeyong’s tears have always been your weakness, “Do you not want me anymore? Am I not enough for you? I need you to tell me, so I can fix it. So, I can be whatever you want. Please I can’t lose you again. Please...” this isn’t how you planned on spending this night, watching your boyfriend break down in tears, begging to know what he did wrong.

 

—so, you tell the truth because a lie by omission is still a lie. “Because I’m scared okay! I’m scared Taeyong, I’m so fuckin’ scared.” The truth sounds so fragile leaving your mouth, so delicate as if it could break at any moment.

 

“I’m scared of being in love with you because I’ve never felt this way with anyone. So, the moment I realized that It was love that I felt, I convinced you and myself that I was as running away to protect you and your career. It was a lie Tyong, I ran because I was scared of getting hurt. I couldn’t risk it. There’s so many variables like what if I’m not enough for you, what if you stop loving me, what if I’m replaceable?” Your voice breaks with a sob, Unspoken feelings coming to fruition finally. 

“I don’t want to ever lose you, so I ran. I ran away and even now I wanna run because I’m scared. I don’t wanna get hurt, I don’t wanna be in love, I don’t want to ever watch you leave with someone else.”

 

Before you can blink an eye, his lip are on yours, hands cupping your cheek, stealing breath from your lungs, “Come here.” He extends a hand towards you, leading you to a bedroom before shutting the door, “Do you know what is?”

You nod softly. It’s his room, where you made love for the first time, “Every time I came here over the last three years I thought back to that night. Thought about what I could have done better, how I should have fought for you. I wished every day that I’d see you again, tell you how much I love you.” He whispers, wrapping an arm around your waist from behind and pulling you into him.

“I can’t speak for the future, but I can for the past and the present. I want to be with you, I don’t want anyone else. Things may change but whether we’re together or not, I will always be in love with you.” 

 

He spins you around, locking lips with you, cupping your face and wiping away stray tears, “Tú eres mi amor, mi felicidad, lo único que de verdad me importa en esta vida.” He whispers, “You're my love, my happiness, the only thing I really care about in life. Don’t ever forget that.”

 

You lead him to the bed, dropping clothing along the way, keeping your mouths connected, whispers sweet nothings. 

 

The bed where you first made love. Where you both admitted that you loved each other. The bed were you broke you own heart out of fear. “Nngh, Taeyong please.” 

 

Your back arches when he takes one of your nipples in his mouth and pushes a finger into you. His tongue runs circles around the bud, sucking and pulling it between his teeth, while his finger forces passion into your being. 

 

“Shh. I know.” He mumbles against your breast, switching to the other. Adding a second finger, he works you faster, drawing sounds out your body. His lips travel lower, kissing down until he reaches your belly button. He’s quick to dip his tongue inside, forcing you to arc your back at the foreign sensation. 

“Taeyong, you’re killing me baby boy.” You breathe through a moan. He pulls his fingers out of you, dragging them to his mouth, running his tongue over them. Then his tongue is on you, running long streaks down your folds, sucking and kissing at your clit, nibbling your thighs softly. You’re on cloud nine. 

 

“Good.” Your body shoots up when you feel his tongue inside you. Biting down on your lip, you try to stop the loud plea that wants to force itself out your mouth. The one where you beg him not to stop fucking you with his tongue, where cry his name out, where you beg him to let you come on his face. 

 

You don’t want to go out like that, but your body can’t help it. Taeyong is euphoria and the tears that run down your cheek as you come are evidence of your transition into delirium. Your body goes numb with shock and then all at once every nerve is on fire. Your legs tremble against his head and taeyong shoves two fingers into you, fucking you through it, drawing out your orgasm. 

 

“That was…You. I just…fuck.” You can’t form a coherent sentence but that’s okay, you tell him what you meant through the kiss that you press on his lips when he finally resurfaces, “It was amazing.”

 

“Glad you thought so.” You notice the quietness in his voice and it alarms you. Usually taeyong isn’t so serious during sex that he won't crack a joke or respond to your question with glee.

 

"What's wrong baby?" you moan as he drags your body towards him using your right leg. He's silent for a moment, sliding a condom onto his length before rubbing his tip against you,coating himself in your wetness.

"Nothing, I just need you and I need you to need me too." his eyes search yours for any sign of reassurance and he isn't sure he's found any. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you pull him to your chest and press your lips against his.

"There isn't anyone in the world I need as much as you." you breathe as he stretches you from the inside. He's still when he bottoms out, but it's just for a moment,”Please Ty.”

 

Your nails dig into his back as he forces loud desperate moans from your body. Taeyong fucks you deep, keeping his eyes locked unto yours only breaking contact to bite into your neck, to tear at your skin, to suck marks unto your chest.

"You said you need me huh?” you chant yes as if you're spell casting, pleading him not to stop. Your nails claw into his back, desperation clinging onto him, begging him not to stop, "Then fucking act like it." the first slap nearly blinds you. Stars come to your eyes and for a moment your vision is hazy with your own tears.

"Again. Oh fuck Taeyong, again please." the second one you beg for. The pain makes you tighten against Taeyong who struggles to pull out of you.

 

"Get on your hands and knees." when you don't move fast enough for his taste he yanks you by your hair, forcing you into the position he wants, "open." he smacks your cheek with his erection. Licking your lips, your wrap your mouth around the tip. Bobbing your head viciously, eager for Taeyong to be pleased with you. Your hand reaches to cup his balls, fondling them in tandem with your sucking. Apparently what you're doing isn't good enough for him because he grabs a fist full of hair and shoves your head down on his cock. 

The length alone has you choking on him. His concern seems limited as he fucks into your choked throat with the haste of a mad man, only letting you up for air when you dig your nails into his thigh. The feeling makes him groan loudly.

 

"Turn around, ass towards me but stay on your hands and knees" when you do what he says you're reward with his tongue on your cunt, lapping at your juices. As much as you want to know what happened to your boyfriend you're enjoying the roughness way too much. When he flicks his tongue on your clit you beg him not to stop. He obeys wrapping his lips around the sensitive nub and sucking on it until you're seeing stars, Coming on his tongue, screaming his name. 

 

And then he's inside of you, fucking you into oversensitivity, pushing you face down into the pillow, yanking your head back when he notices how you can't breathe, "You think you can just trot around here like some entitled bitch and expect me not to fuck you like one?" he growls, pulling your waist back into his. 

 

You're so close again, so close to exploding around him,"I'll walk around here however I want." you bite, trying him, tempting him. Taeyong wraps a hand around the back on your throat, forcing your face down into the pillows as he fucks into you. He's rough, one hand keeping your head down the other digging into your thigh.

He leans over and bites into the smalls of your back, harshly, "Come. Come for me like the bitch you are." his words have you exploding around him. You're so dizzy from the lack of oxygen and the continuous thrust against your abused, swollen clit, that this orgams nearly knocks you out.

 

Taeyong pulls put of you, stroking himself quickly yet hard enough to have him groaning your name as he comes all over your ass and back and then collapse next to you, who's since then nearly passed out on your stomach.

"You good? I didn't hurt you did I..." he ask,caressing your cheek. You laugh, eyes light with surprise and delight. The nod you give him his firm and sure, it's all the conformation you need, "I-I remember you asked me to um...dominate you the other night. I've been doing a lot of research on it... Sorry if it wasn't good but I'll work on it if it pleases you..." his voice is low as he sits up, grabbing a t-shirt from his night stand and wiping off your back with it.

 

"Are you kidding me Ty? That was amazing." he watches the glow in your eyes and sighs, pulling you into his arms.

 

"I'm willing to do anything for you. Even hurt you if it means I get to keep you for even a day longer...Just please stay. I'll do whatever it takes.” you kiss him softly, repeatedly. 

 

"I won't run I promise, no matter how scared I get. I'll stay and fight. Those three years we weren't together were the biggest regret of my life. I love you Lee Taeyong. I love you so much, I love you. I'll stay, I'll work hard, I promise I'll be a good girlfriend. I just can't loose you again, I can't let you go again but please I need you to be patient with me."

 

"Anything you want anything you need ask for it, it’s yours." he presses a kiss to your nose,noticing how heavy his eyes are getting

 

"I love you."


	6. Chapter 6

s c a n d a l +

NSFW

Warning: slapping, breath play, biting

(A/N: I literally just told ya'll that Taeyong had a big dick. Don't believe me watch the Black on Black live performance because his dick was just swinging around like... in the first 32 seconds...) 

Links: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LppVqS6UuM

 

~~

"Taeyong what's the point of being here if you're not going to check anything out?" You poke at his cheek as he absentmindedly grabs your hand, biting it. You don't really know why Taeyong does small 'affectionate' things like that but since it's him you roll with it. Plus, it's kind of cute, he's like a puppy dog.

"Too loud in the dorm, I can't read with them making all that noise." He doesn't look up from his Manhwa, answering with his nose against the book. Yawning, you stretch out across his lap and he rest his hand against the smalls of your back, messaging the spot gently.

"We could have just read at my place, I would have made that soup you liked and we could have watched any Studio Ghibli movie you wanted." You notice the way his lips turn upwards at your suggestions. You always try to use his favorite things against him and then as soon as he gives in you do the complete opposite. It's not that you're out to lie to him, it's just Taeyong won't come unless you bait him like that. 

"We're always there. I like the library, it smells good and it's clean." You laugh making Taeyong chuckle along with you. Going to the library with him has always been your least favorite thing and not because you hate books, no you like reading, it's just he spends obsessives amounts of time locked in the reference room (because no one comes here) sitting against the wall taking all day to finish a couple of books he could have read at home. 

You'll read a few new novels or webtoons with him and once you finish the stack like any other normal person, you're ready to go. Taeyong will stay here from opening closing, not eating or getting up to use the restroom. You've had to buy him lunch, force feed him, and occasionally force him to use the restroom that's how attached he gets to the books he brings.

"The archive room is the last place that's clean in here Ty." 

"This is the reference room. "he corrects you, smacking your butt as a punishment for messing up the name. Rolling your eyes, you hook your arms around his noticeably thicker bicep, pulling on it hard enough that he has to put the book down. He looks at you like a puppy does when they turn their head to figure out what you want.

"Yong, we never got to do anything for your birthday. I want to make it up to you and I can't do that spending every moment in the library. He sighs putting the book on the ground next to him. He figured you were going to bring up his birthday soon enough. It wasn't your fault NCT didn't let him leave, he would have loved to invite you, but it's hard to invite someone to a surprise party and even harder when you're not even supposed to be dating.

"You know that happy birthday text was enough, NCT made it pretty special anyways so don't worry about missing it." He presses his lips to your cheek, a peck as an apology to you for missing his birthday, for you not being able to celebrate with him.

"But I didn't get to make it special." You whine sitting up. Taeyong presses his lips to yours, softly stealing your essence away. 

"Okay what do you want to do? I'll follow your lead."

~~

"Taeyong! This isn't what I meant at all, move so I can get down!" Your screeching and Taeyong's laughter surprisingly hasn't prompted any noise complaints from your neighbors. It also hasn't prompted Taeyong to lift you down from the counter top so you can finish your little project. 

"You weren't clear on directions." Taeyong looks up at you with such soft eyes you can't help but grab him for a kiss. His lips are soft and taste like the strawberry filling that was supposed to go on the French macaroons sitting on the kitchen table.

"I don't think any recipe would ever direct you to lick frosting off my thigh. The frosting you purposely dropped there B.T.W." You attempt to pop him on the forehead, he dodges it and smears frosting on your neck. Taeyong's mouth works your guard and offense away. 

"I think Strawberry frosting taste good enough on chocolate cake..." The cheesiness of Taeyong's pickup lines never fails to catch you off guard. You don't understand why he thinks that you'll be impressed by them when they always make you cringe instead. 

"You're so annoying Ty." You whisper through breathy moans. He makes a noise of agreement, lips never leaving that soft spot on your neck. You hate him, you hate the way he slides off your athletic shorts and rubs your clit even more. You hate the way you let him win so easily.

"Don't you wanna frost the Macaroons?" you ask, wrapping your legs around him, caging him in between you and the counter he has you seated on. A breathy whisper of later comes from his lips as he picks you up, holding you taunt against him.

"You're not gonna be able to see if you're attached to my neck the whole time you're walking." Taeyong chuckles and runs a stripe up your neck with the flat bed of his tongue. It makes you shiver, makes you want to melt against the flames of his desire. 

"You're so wrong." Taeyong knows your place like the back of his hand, it didn't take him long to memorize it either. Occasionally he looks up to make sure he's not hitting your back against anything and when he's made it to your bedroom, he drops you on the bed. It's In favor of kissing you though, in shoving his tongue into your mouth, running it against yours for the maintenance of his sanity. 

"You can owe me birthday sex." He mumbles against the valley of your breast. He never minds your shirts or your bra, pulling them down in favor of suckling on your breast. Your hands weave through his blonde hair, you tug on it, ruining the silky texture with the imprinted harshness you leave behind. 

"How do you want me to touch you?" You cup his face, running a tender trail along his soft cheeks. Taeyong has this way of wanting things from you that you should be ashamed of giving to him.

The way he bites his lip when he prepares for the slap that's coming makes you lose your collection, composure. It takes a lot of courage to hit your boyfriend in the name of erotic pleasure, but Taeyong has guided you through it so well that you mind as well call yourself an expert. 

He's a switch, a brat, a whiner, rebellious. Sex is just the cake though, the way he'll switch it up on you is the icing. You'll never know what flavor he is today.

"Fuck..."He hisses, when your palm connects with his cheek. He bites at your lips, sucking your bottom between his own before he's tossing your clothing somewhere on the floor. 

"Tae...yong!" You're in the process of trying to yell directions at him while he takes it upon himself to strip his shirt and pants off, "Wait... wait!! stop I thought we! Ooo Fuck baby wait." the speed it takes him to flip you on your stomach and shove his fingers into you makes you dizzy. 

"I changed my mind. I want to fuck you my way today." running a hand over your ass, Taeyong slaps once, twice, five, ten, twenty times until your pushing away at his hands, albeit with difficulties, from your position. 

"What's wrong? You want to lay across my lap like how you were at the library? I wanted to fuck you there honestly but you're so loud." Taeyong leans over you, pressing his erection into your ass, biting the shell of your ear. You can't help but to breathe his name through shallow breathes.

"T... You should take those boxers off so I can really feel you against me." You bite the hand that feeds you, you always do. Taeyong, excited per usual, yanks your head back by your hair, snaking a hand against your throat. Your pulse rises, excitement, fear, nerves, you aren't too sure which one.

But you're certainly dumb enough to bite into his arm. The sound he makes is so raw, so sexy that it has your stomach churning twelve different ways. 

"You're acting like such a brat but you're shaking. I want to hurt you." His hands are off you and for some reason you miss the force of his touch. You aren't without it for long, His tongue trails along your spine, stopping occasionally to suckle a hicky into the flesh. Your back arches against his erection as you flex your hips against his. Your mouth is never silent, moans escape like prisoners at Alcatraz. 

Taeyong keeps you on your knees while he switches to move in front of you. The tent his boxers makes you feel handsy and reach for the erection, sliding off his boxers until you can see the curve of his dick standing in front of you, "Yong do you want me to...?"

"Obviously. "his palm on your head is soft when it guides your open mouth to him. You swallow him with difficulty. He's always had a little girth and been a little lengthy, making it difficult for you when he's forcing himself down your throat.

"My good girl." he groans, knees feeling wobbly from the suction of your mouth. His hips move slowly against your cheeks, filling you to the point where you choke and pound at his muscular stomach and withdrawing himself to the point where you miss the fullness of your mouth. Occasionally taeyong will hover over you to flick your clit or massage the wetness out of you until your spilling yourself on your thigh.

"Let's switch. Ride me but with your back towards me." Position switches with your baby have always been awkward and fumbly. Taeyong sometimes wants a kiss when your navigating around him but you're just trying to have the day lights fucked out of you so of course he's pouty and that usually leads to you getting teased to the point you're crying. OR something stupid happens like your legs will get tangled and Taeyong may fall on the floor or fall over you leaving you annoyed at his dorky ass. 

This time is flawless and Taeyong guides you down on him with easy. He wishes he could see the way your eyes widen when your sink down on him but he likes this view better. The purplish red color that he's left on your golden-brown skin looks so beautiful to him as you move. The sound of your voice, the way you occasionally shake from the pleasure and he has to pick up the slack forces him closer to ending. He holds your hips, guiding you along his length showing and dictating your speed.

"Taeyong." You warn him but he knows, he feels the way you tighten around him, the way you squeeze him in an attempt to swallow him whole. He likes the tightness and runs his uncut nails down your back, scratching your flesh for a new sensation he's introducing to you. It's odd, it feels like something you need to get away from, something that's as taboo as being choked and slapped. 

"I know." He says, forcing you on your stomach and pulling out of so he can fuck you from behind, "We should get a mirror right on your dresser so you can always see how pretty you look taking my dick.

"You say 'we' like you live here also please stop talking and fuck me." Taeyong listens, for once, and sides back into you with ease. His thrust consists of stopping you from 'running away' by pulling your hips back against him whenever you scoot forward away from his cock or trying to match the way in which you throw your ass back into his hips as you thrust against him. 

"W-where do you want me to come?" 

"It's your birthday, fucking figure it out T-taeyong." You brain is to foggy to give him a definite answer but honestly you don't care. You don't care until you feel him spilling inside of you while he rubs your clit into your own orgasm. When he pulls out, he pulls you back with him, kissing your nose, your face, your lips.

"Sorry...was that okay?" He asks, the usual puppy look on his face. 

"It was fine. Happy belated my love." 

"Thank you...can we finish the macaroons now?"

**Author's Note:**

> Leave comments and thoughts please. ♥


End file.
